Subtlety is a Lost Art
by Wildcard
Summary: Entry for the Yu-Gi-Oh contest. Kaiba decides to rescue Ryou from his 'evil, substance-abusing friends', but maybe, just maybe, Ryou doesn't need to be rescued... Ryou Kaiba.


Author's Note: Thanks to my wonderful beta, Kathy aka harmonybunny. For the purpose of this story, despite Marik being an alternate personality, he can make a body of his own. Dub names used throughout the story. Read, and enjoy! Oh, and this is my entry for the Yu-Gi-Oh contest. 

__

_Subtlety is a Lost Art._

Kaiba looked up from his laptop as Ryou approached.

"Excuse me Kaiba, but is that chair occupied?" The small boy politely 

enquired.

'Yes, my invisible giraffe is sitting there. His name is Stan, and he's about medium height - for a giraffe that is - and pleasantly decorated with pink blotches.' Was what Kaiba was tempted to say, but instead he nodded brusquely. He would have continued nodding brusquely as it always made him feel pleasantly dizzy, but feared it might disarrange his hair and cause one of his eyes to be poked out by his bangs. Ryou looked surprised.

"I'm sorry, Kaiba, I just thought that since the chair was empty..." his voice trailed off there. Kaiba glared at him. Didn't Ryou realize that Kaiba needed a separate chair just for his ego? Besides, if he let Ryou sit down, others might soon follow until he would actually look popular. Or even worse, friendly.

Determined to stop this possibly dangerous situation before it started, Kaiba increased the intensity of his glare. Ryou blushed and, mumbling apologies, retreated back to his table with Yugi and the others. Not realizing that Ryou was gone, Kaiba continued to glare at the air, stopping only when he saw a grape pass in front of his eyes.

Blinking, Kaiba ducked instantly. It was a wise move, for the grape was followed closely by a pudding. Hugging his precious laptop to his chest, Kaiba half-crawled, half-slithered out of the cafeteria as the crowd of students erupted into what might be taken for a riot, but was actually a food fight. Their third this week, in fact, which might explain why everyone in their school was so slender.

Having successfully escaped the mêlée, Kaiba headed for the boys' changing-room. His next class was gym anyway, and he wanted to wash his clothing since he hadn't managed to escape the cafeteria unscathed. When he finally got there, he changed into his gym outfit immediately, then carefully washed his precious trench coat.

Hiding in a little alcove near the showers that had been designed for shy Muslims to change in, Kaiba settled down for a session of good-ole-fashioned typing. He had just started when he heard the noise of people approaching. Cursing silently, he tucked himself even further into the alcove, having no wish for company-only to see a struggling Ryou being pushed into a shower by Joey, Marik and Yami. Malik, Yugi, Duke Devlin and Tristan weren't far behind, of course, but Malik was too busy admiring his shiny jewelry to help Ryou and the other three were laden with what looked like milk cartons. An incredulous Kaiba wondered if Ryou's friends were trying to force-feed him milk in an attempt to make him grow taller. Not that it wouldn't be a good idea, mind you, but it did seem like far too much milk for the slender boy to digest. Leaning forward so as to get a better view, Kaiba realized that he was in perfect position to eavesdrop - and one didn't become CEO of a large company by being overly-ethical.

"Guys, stop it!" Ryou protested, twisting vigorously. "This is not going to work!" Malik rolled his eyes and stepped forward.

'No doubt trying to take Bakura's place.' Kaiba thought viciously.

"It will work, Ryou. Cleopatra herself underwent the milk treatment, and look how  popular she was." Kaiba noticed that Ryou did not look convinced, but at least he stopped struggling, meaning that Joey and Yami could let go of him. Marik, however, seemed more reluctant to release Ryou, but did in the end. Malik smiled, and popped a suspiciously familiar looking grape into Marik's mouth as a reward. Then again, all grapes looked the same, Kaiba mused.

"Alright Tristan, bring on the milk!" Joey called out jubilantly. The milk carriers hurried forwards, so that Joey and Yami could take a carton each, only to rip the cartons open roughly and proceed to pour the contents on Ryou.  Kaiba blinked. 'Unless these idiots believe that the calcium in milk is absorbed through the skin, they have gone insane. Well, more insane.' Disbelievingly, Kaiba watched as every carton was emptied over Ryou, who stood there passively allowing them to drench him in milk.

They were just beginning to run low on milk when the door Malik was leaning against in his best 'Too-Damn-Hot' pose burst open and Bakura skidded in, almost tripping over the recumbent Malik and falling in the milk which had now accumulated on the floor.

"Hey Bakura, didja get the stuff?" a leering Joey asked. Kaiba started. ''Stuff?' Don't let that mean what I think it does. They had better not be involved with drugs!' Kaiba was so indignant, it didn't even occur to him to ask himself why he'd care...

"Yes I have, and it wasn't easy, either!" Bakura replied crossly.

"How hard could it have been? You just had to sneak in while everyone was distracted, pick it up, and vanish. Malik set everything up perfectly!" If Malik hadn't been sprawled on the floor, he might have rejoiced at the compliment to his skills, but as it was he was too busy wondering about the corrosive effect of milk on gold.

"He could have picked a neater distraction." Bakura complained, shifting the large jar from one arm to another. "My hair almost got hit by a glob of ketchup." Tossing his head for emphasis, he caused the group to laugh when a grape suddenly fell out and rolled over to Malik. Even Ryou, soaked as he was, smiled wanly. Kaiba himself didn't see what had happened, since all his attention was focused on the jar of orangey-yellow semi-solid fluid. 'What kind of a drug could that be? It's probably administered orally, or maybe it's absorbed through the skin! That must be what they were doing with the milk; they must have drugged that as well.' Kaiba twitched, wanting to run out and save Ryou from whatever fate his so-called 'friends' were planning for him.

Before Kaiba could act, Bakura unscrewed the top of the jar, and the  unmistakable sent of honey wafted across the shower room. Kaiba stiffened. 'How diabolical! They're putting the drug in something that's a natural aphrodisiac....maybe the drug is also an aphrodisiac...' As if to confirm his suspicions, Bakura dipped his index finger in the jar, then traced over Ryou's lips with that finger.

"Lick!" Bakura ordered casually, and Ryou obediently did just that. For some reason, Kaiba suddenly found he was having trouble breathing. As soon as Ryou's lips were clean, Bakura dabbed another layer of honey on Ryou's lips - his now swollen, glistening lips - and the entire routine was repeated until Kaiba started seeing stars. Only when Ryou stopped licking his honey-coated lips did Kaiba realize it was because he had forgotten how to breathe.

By the time Kaiba's vision cleared, the group was long gone. If it hadn't been for the large pool of milk in the centre of the room, Kaiba might have thought that he had been experiencing hallucinations brought on by overwork. As it was, he had to reluctantly decide that Ryou was in trouble. Due to his anti-social nature, Kaiba was loathe to interfere, but remembering the awkward way in which Ryou had approached him at lunch he decided that he would talk to Bakura about it.

Yugi might be the centre of their group, but Bakura was Ryou's yami; hence it was his duty to protect Ryou from all outside sources of harm. Thinking of how Bakura himself had slicked Ryou's lips with honey, Kaiba began to have doubts as to the wisdom of his plan. That didn't look protective to him, but the only way to solve the conundrum would probably be to ask Bakura himself...

The harsh ringing of the bell jolted him out of his reverie. Cursing coldly, Kaiba realized that for the first time ever he was now late for class. Deciding that it would be better to miss the entire lesson than have to slink in and apologize to the teacher, Kaiba started thinking of where to go and what excuse to give for missing class. 'The best thing to do would be to leave school entirely. Most people will just assume that I've headed off to another meeting.' 

Scarcely had he left the school when he ran into Bakura, who was bent over, hands on his knees, breathing in short gasps as if he had been running. While a small part of Kaiba's mind was wondering what Bakura had been doing to get so winded, and why he wasn't in class, a much bigger part of it was occupied with admiring the flush on Bakura's face, and the rest of his mind was busy trying to conceal the thoughts of the last part. As you can see, Kaiba had a very complex mind. Or he was insane. Or possibly both - the two weren't mutually exclusive.

"Bakura. Shouldn't you be in class? Or looking after Ryou?" Kaiba emphasized the last word, hoping that Bakura would pick up on the not-so-subtle hint. Bakura grinned manically, and for some strange reason Kaiba took an automatic step backwards. Or tried to, but his feet wouldn't move. With a sinking heart, he wondered if Bakura had used Shadow Magic to anchor him to the spot, but then realized it was merely because he had put the briefcase down behind him.

"Ryou is doing fine on his own. You, on the other hand..." Bakura stepped closer to Kaiba "...shouldn't be skipping classes all alone with only a psychotic tomb robber for company." Again, Bakura flashed that same manic grin at Kaiba, who drew upon years of self-control to keep from going 'eep!' in the manner that Malik usually did when his yami's hands disappeared from view. Why Malik did so was just another one of those unsolved mysteries that Kaiba had long ago given up on pondering. Why Yugi kept giggling and looking coyly at Yami whenever that happened was another.

"I happen to be taking Stan for a walk, and therefore am not alone." Kaiba 

said with as much dignity as he could summon. 'If you can't think of a good lie, be confusing- and you don't get more confusing than invisible giraffes.' To Kaiba's delight, Bakura looked momentarily confused.

"Who's Stan? Your invisible friend?" Bakura asked cautiously. Perhaps Kaiba was further gone than anyone of them had suspected.

"No, of course not. That's pathetic." Kaiba said angrily. How dare anyone think that he was so desperate for company that he would resort to making people up?!

"Oh, that's good because-" Bakura started, only to be interrupted by a fuming Kaiba.

"Stan's my invisible giraffe." There was a pause, as Bakura grappled with this new piece of information, and tried to decide if that was better or worse than an invisible friend.

"Right..." Bakura finally settled for awkwardly saying. "So, where do you think that you'll be taking this invisible giraffe of yours today?"

"Down to the pet shop to buy some food." Kaiba quickly lied. In truth, he had no idea where he had been going to go, but the pet shop was as good a place as any.

"What a coincidence. I was just going down there myself to buy some food for my, uh, invisible anteater." Bakura said pleasantly. Kaiba bit his lip in shock - he would never have expected Bakura of all people to play along. "I might as well go with you then, as I've always wanted to know what giraffes ate."

Forgetting all about Ryou in his delight at stringing Bakura along, Kaiba kept the conversation on the topic of the care and upkeep of invisible pets all the way to the pet shop, which was quite close to the school really, as a certain substitute teacher had discovered when her desk turned out to have a never-ending supply of rabbits. It had been incredibly clever of the prankster to choose one male and one female rabbit for the original 'surprises'. Nobody knew who had pulled that prank, but from the crowd of people surrounding Marik afterwards, Kaiba had his suspicions.

"Hey, look at that puppy! It looks like Joey." Bakura said suddenly, pointing at a golden retriever in the shop window.

"So does the one next to it, and the one next to that. I'd be surprised if you could find one that didn't look like him." Kaiba pointed out dryly. Bakura's eyes lit up.

"If I do, what do I get?" He asked eagerly, making Kaiba feel a little uncomfortable. Kaiba hadn't been making a wager, but now that Bakura looked so expectant...

"I'll...buy you any pet from the store that you like." Kaiba offered. Bakura pouted, and Kaiba suddenly realized that he was having trouble breathing again. He mentally reminded himself to schedule an appointment with his doctor to look into the possibility of him being asthmatic, and then returned to the problem of trying to find a good prize for Bakura. Giving up with a sigh, he decided to let Bakura decide.

"Then what would you prefer Bakura, a sarcophagus?" Kaiba said sarcastically. Rather scarily, Bakura seemed to seriously consider that idea for a little. Kaiba, despite his seemingly endless resources, would have a hard time getting a genuine sarcophagus for Bakura, and he was quite sure that the tomb-robber would be able to spot a fake instantly.

"I have a better idea. If I find a puppy that bears no resemblance to Joey, then you have to throw a pool party for all of us." Bakura said, grinning widely. Kaiba flinched. He really disliked the idea of having to open his house to other people.

"Define 'all of  us'." Kaiba said finally. With any luck, Bakura only meant himself and Ryou, which wouldn't be so bad - although it didn't seem like enough to constitute 'all of us'.

"Me, Ryou, Marik, Malik, Joey, Tristan, Duke Devlin, Yugi and I suppose that idiot Pharaoh will want to go with his light." Bakura reeled off. Kaiba blinked again - he seemed to do a lot of that around Bakura.

"Why don't you want me to invite any of the girls? Or Odeon for that matter?" Kaiba settled for asking. He didn't really have any interest in any of the girls (or any girl for that matter) but was curious as to why Bakura so pointedly excluded the fairer sex.

"Ryou doesn't like the way Mai acts so superior, Malik and Marik get enough of the female Ishtar at home,  Joey doesn't like the idea of Tristan or Devlin seeing Serenity in a bathing suit, Tea annoys me, and Odeon is still ill from the last party." Bakura said coolly. "That's why." Kaiba decided to change his method of attack.

"Why do you want to have a pool party, anyway? Especially at my house. I'm sure that Devlin has a swimming pool as well, so you could just go there. He'd be a lot more grateful for your company than I'd ever be." Kaiba sneered while studying the puppies, therefore missing the brief look of annoyance on Bakura's face.

"As a matter of fact he does, but we've already been there, whereas your house is completely new to all of us. Besides, you having to put up with us will also be part of the punishment for underestimating my ability to find things." Bakura said. Kaiba nodded in agreement; Bakura's reasoning made sense, and Kaiba was confident that Bakura wouldn't be able to find such a puppy anyway.

"Fine then. I still think that there is no way that you can locate a puppy that doesn't resemble Joey in any way." Before Kaiba finished speaking, Bakura was gone. Only then did it strike Kaiba that he had forgotten to ask what he would get if Bakura lost. 

Deciding that he'd better buy something so as not to ruin his story of 'Stan, the invisible giraffe', Kaiba randomly chose a chew-toy, then waited near the cashiers for Bakura's dejected return from the realm of Joey-puppies. Instead, the most hideous creature on earth was suddenly thrust into his face. Black, practically hairless, and with a constipated face, it made a little yipping noise.

"Aaah!" Kaiba screamed and stumbled backwards, gripping the cashier's desk for support. Later, he was to be ashamed at his behavior, but at the moment he was to busy being scared out of what wits were left after a shock like that. "Bakura, what is that...that... thing?!" Bakura grinned triumphantly.

"That, my dear, dear, dear Kaiba, is a puppy. More specifically, a puppy which looks nothing like Joey."

"And everything like the creature from the Black Lagoon!" Kaiba snapped, his heart beginning to settle back into its regular pattern. 'My dear, dear, dear Kaiba?' Marik's speech patterns must be rubbing off on him. "That has to be a mutant of some sort. No normal dog would look like that. Not even the most repugnant Duel Monster would look like that." Behind Kaiba, the cashier coughed disapprovingly.

"Young man," he said icily, "That happens to be a specimen of one of the rarest breeds available. You will not find many dogs of that kind around."

"Thank goodness for that. If many people wanted those, there would be something severely wrong with the human race." Kaiba said grouchily, staring with distaste at the 'dog' in front of him. Not only was it the most revolting thing he had ever seen, it also meant that he would have to allow his house to be invaded by Yugi and his cohorts tomorrow.

"Oh, I don't know about that, Kaiba...I think it's sort of cute." Bakura smiled, and stroked the side of the thing lovingly - at least until it licked the side of his hand with a tongue like an over-boiled carrot. "Ew!"

Kaiba snickered. The sight of the disgusted tomb-robber threatening to strangle the dog made him feel a little better - as did the thought of afore-mentioned tomb-robber and Ryou in bathing outfits. Not that he'd admit it, even to himself. Well, at least not to his conscious self.

~*~*~

The next morning, Kaiba had decided to try to get all his work done before Bakura and the others arrived. Mokuba had been informed of the upcoming party, and was now bouncing around happily, having decorated the pool and lawn to his satisfaction. Decorated meaning 'having placed lots of ice-cream, cookies, and other calorie-enriched products around the place'. Kaiba had made a little bet with himself as to how many of the guests would go home on a sugar-high, and then promptly called it off when he remembered that betting was what got him into this situation in the first place.

He had set his laptop up on a table on the patio near the pool, and was trying to multitask by both working and eating. Left to himself, he would have skipped breakfast, but since Mokuba was holding the toast near his mouth he had to take a few bites or else have it jabbed against his lips by his little brother. Since Kaiba wasn't going to work today, he just wore a pair of jeans, and a white T-shirt. Mokuba was already dressed to go swimming, despite the fact that Kaiba had told him that the party wouldn't start till the afternoon, which was good since Kaiba would need the morning to finish off the sheet he was working on.

That would explain why his first reaction to seeing Yugi and his crowd appear on the lawn was to rub his eyes and decide that he really was overworking. His second reaction, upon seeing Mokuba drop the piece of toast and run off to greet the guests joyfully, was to glare at Bakura. Looking helplessly at the crowd of people - to him,  ten people really did count as a crowd - who had spread out over his lawn, Kaiba knew that there would be no way to send them home and tell them to return later; they were just too firmly established. 

"Kaiba, I just wanted to thank you so much for inviting me to your party." Ryou said shyly. He had somehow both gotten rid of his yami, and then reached Kaiba without anyone else noticing, while playing with the tassels on his voluminous terry robe. Kaiba looked at the robe appraisingly, wondering what lay under it that Ryou was ashamed to reveal. The scent of milk and honey still clung to Ryou, and Kaiba had to admit that he found it pleasant. Before Kaiba could respond, Bakura rushed up, dressed in black swim trunks with little skull emblems.

"Kaiba, why aren't you in swimwear? You have to join the party as well." To emphasize his point, Bakura gestured with a small, yellow duck he was holding. It squeaked, as if agreeing with him. 

"I wasn't expecting you to arrive until later, and I most certainly did not think that you'd arrive while I was eating breakfast. It's only 9 in the morning." Kaiba defended himself.

"Yeah, we saw you being fed by Mokuba." Bakura smirked, and Kaiba found himself blushing.

"At least I eat." Kaiba said, annoyed that Bakura had managed to score off him, and unable to think of anything better. Bakura merely widened his eyes in imitation of Ryou, who was now fiddling nervously with the spikes on the Ring. Kaiba sighed, defeated.

"Well, you might as well join the others while I'll go to change." Kaiba began to trudge off, but was stopped by the sound of Mokuba screaming. All the protective instincts in him arose, and without another thought he ran towards the pool, Bakura and Ryou right behind him.

"Don't worry Mokuba, I'll save you from...being tickled?!" Kaiba skidded to a stop, and glared incredulously at the sight that met his eyes. Mokuba was squirming around on the lawn, screaming between bouts of laughter, while Tristan tickled him mercilessly. Relieved to see that it was nothing serious, Kaiba turned to leave, only to be knocked into the pool by Bakura, who hadn't quite managed to stop in time. Bakura fell in right after him, and together they tumbled to the bottom of the pool. Kaiba was usually a good swimmer, but having his limbs entangled with Bakura's kept him from being able to move. Before they managed to separate themselves, Malik and Marik did it for them, Marik dragging Kaiba to the surface and Malik taking care of Bakura. Once out of the pool, Kaiba coughed weakly, and let some of the pool water run out of the side of his mouth. Above him, he could hear panicked voices.

"Kaiba and Bakura nearly drowned! Someone had better give them mouth-to-mouth." A voice that Kaiba easily recognized as Devlin's suggested. Kaiba wildly waved his arms in an attempt to convey that 'yes, he had nearly drowned, but no, he didn't want mouth-to-mouth.'

"Yes, I think Devlin's right. Ryou, you know mouth-to-mouth, why don't you do it?" Yugi was heard to say. Kaiba stopped moving his arms. Ryou was preferable to drowning after making it to dry land.

"No, big brother's stopped moving! He's dead!" Mokuba sobbed hysterically. Trying to reassure his bother, Kaiba started flailing his arms again.

"Aah, he's moving! Must be one of those zombies!" Joey said, sounding panicked. Kaiba rolled his eyes, and mentally groaned.

"Don't be a fool Joey, Kaiba's not a zombie. Ryou, now's your chance, do mouth-to-mouth!" Malik said eagerly. Kaiba sighed. What was it with these people and wanting Ryou to do mouth-to-mouth? 

"Yes, but on which one, my yami or Kaiba?" Ryou's soft voice asked.

"Kaiba, of course, you might not get another chance." Marik said decisively. Kaiba groaned again. If he died, of course Ryou wouldn't get another chance. Marik did not seem to be the sharpest knife in the drawer - although, thinking of Marik's dagger collection, Kaiba conceded that having very sharp knives might compensate for not being one.

Next to him, Kaiba could feel someone coughing rapidly, and then suddenly everyone shifted their attention to that person. Determined not to be outdone, Kaiba forced himself to cough as well, and when he couldn't anymore, he lay back with a moan and slowly opened his eyes.

"My entire world's gone black. I'm blind!" He exclaimed fearfully.

"No, I had just put my hand over your eyes so that I could check your pupils to see if you had a concussion." Ryou said, and then drew back a little. Relaxing, Kaiba realized that 

he wasn't blind, and that he could see Ryou's eyes, better than he ever had. Ryou's eyes - Ryou's pretty, soft, velvet-warm brown eyes...he might have mentally continued cataloguing the virtues of Ryou's eyes, if it hadn't been for the sudden commotion besides him.

"Fine then Bakura, see if I ever save your life again." Malik said, looking rather annoyed.

"How do you call that saving my life?" Bakura asked indignantly, sitting up as if fully recovered. Malik sighed, and assumed his best 'I'm-surrounded-by-idiots' voice.

"I was performing mouth-to-mouth since Ryou was too busy trying to decide whether or not to save Kaiba." Bakura glared at Malik, who retreated behind his yami.

"That might have saved my life, but you shoving your tongue down my mouth was more likely to suffocate me!" Bakura said hotly, causing Marik to growl warningly.

Deciding to just ignore them, Kaiba tried to stand up, only to be tackled by Mokuba and promptly fall to the ground again.

"Seto, I'm so glad that you're okay. I was so worried about you!" Mokuba sniffed, then hugged Kaiba tightly, reminding Kaiba that he had wanted to schedule an appointment with his doctor, although that particular problem seemed to have disappeared already. Ryou chose that precise moment to discard his robe, revealing that he was wearing a pair of short light blue swim trunks underneath it. Kaiba paused as the world shook, and realized that he had spoken too soon. 

"I'm going to go change now." Kaiba said curtly, standing up and leaving Mokuba curled up on the ground.

"Must you?" Marik slyly asked. Kaiba stared at Marik as if he was insane, which, in fact, he was, so five points to Kaiba for clever observations, and negative ten points for not having noticed before.

"Yes, I must. Just look at me." Kaiba said, only to have everyone obediently turn to look at him. Trying to ignore his audience, Kaiba continued, "My T-shirt has become transparent, and sticks to my body like cling-film. My jeans are just as bad, and the fact that they're waterlogged means that they keep sliding down my hips." Kaiba paused. He had been sure that Ryou had muttered something like 'we noticed', but he disregarded it and turned to walk into the house. There was a squeak from behind him, and then something suddenly grabbed him from behind - technically, it grabbed his behind - so he turned to see Ryou blushing, and pressing his hands to his cheeks in a vain attempt to disguise it.

"What?" Kaiba asked, perplexed as to why Ryou would have suddenly propelled himself at Kaiba. "Is something wrong?" Ryou's strange behavior reminded Kaiba to talk to him about what occurred in the showers. Mortified, Ryou shook his head quickly, not daring to look directly at Kaiba.

"I'll be back shortly then." Strangely enough, his trek back to the house was made in total silence, and when he turned to look at the group, they all suddenly started bustling around and making lots of deliberate noise.

~*~*~

When Kaiba returned, his first act was to sit down near the pool in a deckchair and his second was to pull out his laptop and go back to typing. Before he could finish even one paragraph, a shadow fell over his laptop. Scowling, he looked up, only to see Ryou and have his expression instantly metamorphose into a more welcoming smile. 

"Ryou, is there something you need?" Kaiba asked, quickly preparing an opening statement along the line of  'stay away from your evil, substance-abusing friends!'.

"No Kaiba. In fact, everything seems just perfect to me." Ryou's said huskily, and then did a little shimmy. Kaiba stared at him, wondering why Ryou was shivering, and then how Ryou could make such a simple action look so good.

"Do you have a cold Ryou? Your voice sounds strange." Kaiba said solicitously. Ryou's face fell. 

"No, I'm quite alright. Really." With that, Ryou blinked several times in succession. Confused, Kaiba stared at him, until it dawned on him that Ryou was trying to bat his eyelashes. With a gasp, it suddenly occurred to him that Ryou was trying to flirt with him, and horrified, Kaiba concluded that those drugs they gave him must be making him do this. If any further proof was needed, Ryou's sudden 'fall' into his lap supplied it, and while listening to Ryou's hasty apologies - although Kaiba noticed that Ryou made no move to leave his lap - Kaiba decided that the time to act was now. 

"Ryou, please don't. I know why you're acting like this and I don't like it." Kaiba said sternly. Ryou stopped dead, then scrambled off Kaiba's lap. In fact, the entire 

party went quiet.

"Y-You do? But I thought that-" Kaiba cut Ryou off mid-speech. 

"It was a well-kept secret." Kaiba finished the sentence for Ryou knowingly. Ryou nodded, then curling up smaller, stared at the ground. Kaiba shook his head. "It was perfectly clear to me from the first moment what was going on. The showers of milk, the coating of honey, your unusual behavior - it doesn't take a genius like me to figure out that your 'friends' were forcing you to take aphrodisiacs." 

Kaiba was pleased to note that everyone seemed to be suitably shocked by his announcement. More than shocked, they actually looked disbelieving - it had probably never occurred to them that anyone would catch onto their fiendish plots. Ryou uncurled himself. Of course he looked much better now that he knew his days of being controlled were over. Yami was the first to recover and speak.

"You think that we're controlling Ryou with aphrodisiacs?" He asked in shock. Getting an affirmative nod from Kaiba, his face darkened. "I never thought you were that stupid." Kaiba felt insulted. Just because he had cracked their diabolical scheme, they were now trying to mock him so as to convince him that he was wrong. If they thought that they could fool him, they had another think coming.

"Well, than what was the purpose of all that?" Kaiba demanded, figuring that 

he might as well hear whatever lame excuse they had. This time, Ryou answered, while standing up so that he actually loomed over Kaiba for a change. 

"It was supposed to make you like me." Kaiba's breath caught. Apparently Ryou could 

set him just as off-balance as his yami could. The others backed away slightly, turning it into a conversation only between Kaiba and Ryou - and Bakura, who stood behind Ryou and held him protectively.

"The honey wasn't drugged?" Kaiba asked tentatively.

"No, it was just part of an idea that Malik and his yami had for making me more desirable." Ryou confessed miserably.

"And the mouth-to-mouth?"

"Was just an excuse to get me into a position that I could kiss you."

"So you did grope me when you fell against me?"

"Yes. No. Yes... Bakura pushed me into you so I grabbed you to keep my balance. I just happened to grab an awkward spot." Ryou looked down and kicked the grass. "Bakura offered to help me attract your attention. Well, his version of help - mainly telling me that you'd never notice me unless I made the first move." 

"So it was all a lie?" Kaiba asked, his voice pained. 

"No. Yes. Well, apart from the part where I noticed your jeans were going to fall down." Ryou said regretfully. Bakura's grip on him loosened.

"Ah." Kaiba said slowly, his mind racing to assimilate this new information. "I see." 

Ryou liked him and had been trying to flirt with him, and Bakura had been trying to help Ryou....Kaiba remembered having trouble breathing when Ryou was around him - or when Bakura was around him, although that was purely physical and could be explained as him simply liking Ryou's body...and Ryou was the one he had felt protective towards. Was he attracted to Ryou? The part of his mind that had been secretly storing images of the pale boy answered with a resounding 'YES!', while the other parts made vaguely encouraging noises.

"Subtlety," Bakura muttered, "is a lost art." With that, Bakura pushed Ryou into Kaiba's lap again, whose heart and body joined forces to overrule his mind, leading to him kissing Ryou very enthusiastically indeed. Cheers and applause broke out, and Bakura took several well-deserved bows while beside him Ryou and Kaiba remained oblivious to everything except the taste of honeyed milk. 

Suddenly, Kaiba broke apart from Ryou and holding him tightly, turned to face Bakura.

"Wait," Kaiba said, mock-indignantly, "does this mean that you don't have an invisible anteater after all?!"

~Fin~


End file.
